The Hollywood elite are absolutely beside themselves, melting down faster than vegan ice cream on a summer day since Donald Trump’s victory in the 2024 presidential race. You’d think the apocalypse had arrived. Their beloved Kamala Harris, the candidate they were so sure would usher in a woke utopia, got trounced. Not just in the Electoral College, mind you—Trump also snagged the popular vote, a twist that has left the Democrats gasping like fish out of water.
For Hollywood’s glitterati, this was the ultimate nightmare: a public referendum not only on Harris but on everything the Democratic Party stands for—wokeness, lectures, and endless hashtags. Before the election, countless celebrities made their annual promise: if Trump wins, they’re out of here. Yet, shockingly, they’re all still here. Turns out, fleeing the country is harder than hopping on Instagram to post a “Vote Blue” selfie.
But wait—hope is not entirely lost. Enter Richard Gere, the selfless hero who is actually packing his bags. That’s right, the 75-year-old Pretty Woman star has announced he’s ditching Trump’s America for Spain. By Thanksgiving, no less. Timing? Pure coincidence, of course.
On The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, Gere couldn’t resist cracking a joke about his wife’s Spanish roots. “My wife is Spanish. Is this a problem for anybody out there?” Oh no, Richard, no problem at all. In fact, let us help you with the packing. Gere went on to explain that his kids are bilingual, and Madrid would be the perfect place for them to flourish. How generous of him to spin a political temper tantrum into a wholesome family narrative.
The Daily Mail spilled all the tea, noting Gere’s history of radical liberal activism. Did he explicitly blame Trump for his exodus? Of course not—he’s far too savvy for that. But the timing? Chef’s kiss.
BREAKING: Actor Richard Gere says he is leaving America for Spain just after Trump wins re-election. Coincidence? Sure.
And Gere isn’t alone in this mass celebrity migration. Ellen DeGeneres wasted no time fleeing to England with her wife Portia de Rossi. Apparently, the Trump victory left them “very disillusioned,” which is rich coming from a woman whose entire brand was once built on kindness and generosity. But sure, run away to England. That’ll show Trump.
Other bold promises of exile from Cher, Barbra Streisand, Sharon Stone, and Sophie Turner remain just that—promises. It seems the allure of dramatic declarations wears off when faced with the logistics of leaving behind their sprawling mansions, private chefs, and Instagram-perfect lives.
Let’s face it: Hollywood loathes Trump because he refuses to bow down to them. He doesn’t fawn over their awards shows, nor does he pretend their political opinions carry more weight than the average plumber’s. Instead, Trump focuses on the working-class Americans who make this country tick, the very people Hollywood loves to patronize but wouldn’t dare invite to their cocktail parties.
Frankly, the mass exodus of Hollywood elites can’t come fast enough. Richard Gere and Ellen DeGeneres are welcome to start a woke expat community overseas. We’ll even throw in a going-away party—complete with red, white, and blue balloons—if more of them join the exodus.
Let’s be real: for every Gere or DeGeneres who leaves, America gets a little freer, a little less preachy, and a whole lot more fun. Bon voyage, Hollywood—don’t let the jet bridge hit you on the way out.