The idea of organizing more effectively so that we can function better with less stress is a good one. Many of us would like to be better organized, which is reflected in the rise of Marie Kondo, a Japanese organizational consultant who recommends that we should clean out everything that does not spark joy.

However, putting it into effect is often not easy. Messy kids are a common problem for parents. Teenagers just have a way of making everything they touch a mess and out of order, no matter how much parents tell them to pick up after themselves.

Teaching children to organize their possessions is a parenting skill, like many others, sometimes parents need to learn the skill themselves before they can aid their children.

When asking parents to think about why they respond so negatively if a child does not put dirty clothes in the laundry hamper or hang up clean clothes, they invariably respond that if they themselves had done that, they would have been harshly disciplined

However, in order to avoid alienating their teen and making them feel less like a part of the family, one expert, neuroscientist Dr. Dean Burnett, who is also the author of the book entitled Why Your Parents Are Driving You Up the Wall and What To Do About It advises parents not to instruct their teenagers to clean up their rooms or to treat their home “like a hotel.”

According to the expert, certain phrases like “why do you treat this place like a hotel?” and “How was school today? ” are very bad for teenage children and risk alienating them from the parent-child relationship. He believes that parents need to be more accommodating to their teen children because they’re still growing and need more than adults.

Although it might be challenging for parents to watch their kids go through difficult times, it’s crucial to keep in mind that teenagers are still developing and learning new things. Teenagers need their parents to be understanding as they go through with those changes.

“Instead of asking why they treat the house like a hotel, parents might want to bargain and offer them something in return if they tidy their room.” Dr. Burnett said while delivering a lecture at the Royal Institution in London.

“Harry Enfield’s teenage sketch character Kevin is the stereotype of a grumpy adolescent for many parents. But look at him more closely, and you can see all the hallmarks of serious sleep deprivation, from grumpiness and a short temper to lack of focus,” Dr. Burnett added.

He suggested an alternative, saying that parents should ask their children, “How are you? “is a far more effective strategy that won’t irritate the adolescent rather than asking “how was school today?” a common question that can be very triggering for teenagers since school is a stressful situation for many.

If we want our children to cooperate with us, we are going to have to learn to teach them through means other than punishment.

He said:It’s not just Kevin. Most teenagers are chronically sleep-deprived, to the point where it’s now considered a major public health concern in many countries. And it’s not just because they’re staying up all night on social media or playing video games.” Adding that, parents should strive to be more understanding of their kids instead of constantly pestering them to clean up their rooms.

It may take some discipline to implement a new regimen, but it will result in a calmer and perhaps better-organized household.

Sources: Awm, Tdpelmedia, Sharesplosion

 

 

 

 

 

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